Conditions On Self-Love Are Self-Sabotaging

Conditional love in life, especially within oneself, is the greatest form of self-sabotage, which leads many to develop negative and unhealthy associations with what love means and how to create healthy relationships with others and oneself. It is through this misalignment with the true nature of love that many cause themselves to develop unhealthy attachments to others and create unconscious addictive patterns within their behaviours. They need to fill voids within themselves externally, rather than addressing the internal nature of love and unconditional acceptance within themselves.

The thing is, in life, when I create conditional love within myself, I am creating an unconscious expectation that the love I seek in life and myself is based on external conditions to be felt, leading me to seek fulfilment within myself, external to myself. This then becomes the self-sabotage, which creates an unconscious belief within myself that I am not whole and need eternal conditions to feel whole within myself. I create the belief that my internal love for self is not the same love that I seek from others, and I create an unhealthy attachment to others over self to fulfil the now-created void from this unconscious belief.

The Costs Of Conditional Love On Self-Identity…

The cost of conditional love is the unconscious belief that external conditions override internal intrinsic worth and unconditional acceptance of self as being worthy of love within self. The unconscious mind formulates your understanding of meaning, not based on what you wish you were; your unconscious mind creates your meaning based on your words spoken, decisions made, and actions taken within life.

This means if you practice conditional love with your love for self, you are signalling to your unconscious mind that to let yourself feel love, you must first meet the conditions test for your worthiness to feel love within yourself. It is this unconscious side effect that stems all unconscious behaviours, beliefs and narratives which shape your conscious perception of life and your experiences within life. By creating conditions for your self-love, you have now triggered an unconscious pattern that all emotional states are not based on your unconditional worth to feel them, but are, in fact, based on predetermined conditions of worth.

This then reshapes your unconscious mind's perception of all experiences within life, creating conditional checklists to complete before the release of emotional states or biochemical responses. But also, it triggers your unconscious mind to not seek internally for validation of conditions; instead, your “Reticular Activation Gland” is initiated to focus on finding validation for these conditions external to yourself. Creating an unhealthy focus or obsessive nature towards what you feel is lacking in your life. So, should you set conditions to give yourself love in life, you now activate your mind to hyper focus on the lack of love within yourself and to seek love over all other needs in life. Creating an unconscious narrative and belief that I don’t feel love in life, I need love, love, if I could only get it would make me finally feel whole within myself and worthy to feel love in life.

Unfortunately, this obsessive nature leads you to sacrifice true love for superficial or transactional love in life and will lead you into unhealthy or even toxic relationships, as they are the only way you are allowed to feel love within yourself. This is the true cost of conditional love within yourself, the unconscious addiction to finding and fulfilling love externally, and rarely is this need met healthily. Typically, we accept less to have something now, justifying to ourselves that this is what I need to accept to feel good within myself.

How Conditional Love Sabotaged My Internal Love For Self…

In my childhood and developmental years, I was conditioned by others and myself to believe that love was conditional, something which was earned and not given freely. This led me to unconsciously shape my perception and understanding of love to be based on conditions and not based on who I was and my unconditional acceptance of who I was, being worthy of love. Which in turn led me in life to creating a transactional mindset towards myself and the love others showed me, that should someone showed me love without me giving them anything, then all they wanted was to use me or that they were lying to me about loving me.

This caused me to always push away those who cared about me, as I unconsciously did not feel worthy of love without having a transactional relationship with the love I received and that who I was internally was not someone worthy of love without conditions. Self-love or love shown to self is one of the foundational frameworks for the development of our identity of self and the creation of our beliefs of worth and value within self. If conditions are placed on the love we feel within self, those same conditions become the tools of measurement we use to compare ourselves and judge others with.

As I did not believe I was worthy of unconditional acceptance within myself, I would not accept others unconditionally, leading to a comparison nature within my intimate and personal relationships with others. That love given was based upon conditions being met, and like any good contract, once conditions were not met, the contract was in breach, and no love would be given to others or myself.

This conditional approach to life meant that I was the one who would punish myself and others by the removal of my love, which is a very unhealthy way to approach love within relationships. As this conditional approach was the aspect of self that always compared who I was to who I thought others expected me to be in life, and should I not be the person who others wanted me to be, there was something wrong with who I am. My conditional beliefs around self-love also led me to only see relationships as a transaction of social standing and personal needs.

Which meant that I viewed others in relationships not based on who they were, but based on what I got from them in the transaction and how others perceived me socially based upon my relationship choices. Leading me down the path of unhealthy and toxic relationships where I was codependent on others to fill the voids of low self-worth, valuelessness and love within myself.

This was the true cost of my sabotaging nature of conditional self-love, the creation of my self-identity being void of love, value and worth being unconditionally intrinsic to me and now becoming something I had to be given by others in life. The creation of a self who sought to use others to fill the voids created in self, through my inability to seek internally within myself to find the love, worth and value which always existed within. Always needed to have someone complete me, because I never felt that who I was was good enough or worthy of love alone.

How To Develop Unconditional Love For Self And The Unconscious Traps Of Conditional Belief Structures…

Through developing a healthy attachment to self-love and how one embodies love within and for self. You avoid many of the negative unconscious traps created by conditional belief structure, especially around self-love and self-worth. As your unconscious mind will use your words spoken, decisions made, and actions taken to develop its conception of the fundamental meanings associated with love, worth and self.

Developing healthy self-love is a process that can only be achieved through the understanding and embodiment of unconditional love, love without conditions, which is based intrinsically in self-worthiness for love without need for conditions. Unconditional acceptance of yourself as you are, without the need to justify or prove your worth for love to be given, is the only way to develop a healthy understanding of what love means without condition.

Each time you embody unconditional acceptance of who you are and your intrinsic worthiness of the love you receive in life. You are sending a positive signal to your unconscious mind that who I am is worthy of love, respect and everything I have ever dreamed of in life. It is through this process of realising your inherent worth within yourself for love, you develop a positive association with healthy love without any need for external validation or conditions to feel love within yourself.

It is through this process of unconditional acceptance that you rewire your understanding of love to see it as an unconscious aspect of self. That when provided by yourself creates a powerful feedback loop of healthy development of internal worth, value and love within yourself. Altering your perception of the underlying meaning of love within your life and relationships with others allowing you to develop connections based on unconditional love instead of transactional love.

Which will create healthy relationships where all feel worthy within the love they receive and valued by each other, not because of what you have done, but because of who you are. Through unconditional acceptance of self and others, you can create stronger and deeper bonds without the unhealthy aspects of comparison or judgment within the relationships. This is how you develop unconditional love for yourself while also avoiding the negative unconscious traps associated with conditional love within yourself.

The Unconscious Trap Of Conditional Love Within Your Self-Identity…

The unconscious trap of conditional love within the self is the trap of unseen conditions within yourself associated with your emotional regulation, self-worth, self-love, self-value and experienced reality. When conditions are set within one aspect of self, they send an unconscious message that all aspects of self have unseen conditions that need to be achieved before the self-regulation of biochemical responses or the allowing of feeling the desired emotional states within life.

Should you set conditions to the love you feel for yourself, you unknowingly create a mirror of conditions for happiness, success, emotional security, worth and empowerment within yourself. This unknown mirror of conditions now arbitrarily decides when and how you are allowed to feel within every moment of your life. The unconscious aspect of this means you are unaware that the conditions you have set for your self-love have now been merged with your happiness.

Leading to heightened states of depression as your conscious mind is unaware that your happiness is now not an unconditional aspect of life, and there are now boxes you must tick before your unconscious mind allows you to feel happy within life. This unconscious aspect means that you have no way to analyse the conditions that have been set, which leads to you feeling unhappy in life, yet not knowing what is causing the sudden loss of happiness.

This leads many to seek self-regulation through external means, through pleasure-seeking activities and emotional state-altering substances and actions. Short-term gratification now becomes the only way of regulating your emotional state, which has many seeking out negative behaviours to fill emotional voids left by their unconscious mind's unwillingness to allow them to feel whole within themselves.

It is through the seeking of short-term gratification that most will unknowingly amplify the negative emotional states, creating unconscious addictions, which are simply known behaviours to alter emotional states. More importantly, the negative behaviours are typically toxic in nature, as the lack of self-love and self-worth leads to heightened self-destructive behaviours as a sense of self-rebellion to the negative emotional states that conditional love creates within self-identity.

The feeling of being worth nothing, so why does it matter if my actions are high risk, because in essence, I feel my life is worthless to begin with, so what am I truly losing in my self-destruction?

This is the true unconscious trap of conditional love within yourself and the creation of your self-identity, the desire for self-destruction because you see yourself as worthless.

The Unconscious Cost Of Conditional Self-Love On Your Development Of Personal And Intimate Relationships…

There is a cost unconsciously felt to the conditions you set on yourself and the love you give to yourself in life. This unconscious cost is the loss of unconditional beliefs in your worth, value, happiness, love and much more. The truth about conditional self-love is that it soon becomes an unconscious belief of conditional love for and with others. A belief that all love holds conditions and the only purpose of relationships is the transactional aspect of the relationship, the needs which are filled, what you get out of the relationship and what you have to do to maintain the relationship.

This alters your internal understanding and conceptualisation of the purpose and meaning of the relationships you form in life, intimate or personal. These relationships cease to be unconditional relationships based on unconditional shared worth to now become conditional or transactional relationships, which should prove value to you to justify the continuation of the relationship. Through conditional self-love, you unknowingly teach yourself that all love has conditions, and even love without open conditions holds unseen conditions, because all love holds conditions.

This is the way your unconscious mind works. Even if someone openly and unconditionally loves you, you refuse to believe or see it as being true because the foundational belief around your perception of love is that love is a conditional transaction. Through creating a conditional mindset within yourself and in your life, you are fundamentally altering the foundation of what love and life mean within you.

That nothing is given for free, and love, along with worth, is not inherent to you; it is something that must be earned before you are allowed to feel it within yourself. This alters the underlying meaning and motivations you have towards relationships; they go from being things that create joy and happiness within your life to becoming ways of fulfilling needs and voids you have within yourself.

This is the cost of conditional self-love and its effect on your ability to develop unconditional and healthy relationships with life. Leading you to form unhealthy codependent attachments and even toxic relationships void of love, worth or joy, relationships which erode your internal identity of self and the worth within yourself.

How To Develop Unconditional Love For Self…

Developing unconditional love for self is a process of radical unconditional acceptance of who you are as you are and a practice of embodying this acceptance within your thoughts, words, decisions and actions. A choice to embody the love you seek from others within yourself and to give yourself this love within every moment. A choice to use your thoughts, words, decisions and actions to give to yourself the love, worth, value and joy you seek within life.

You must consciously choose that I am worthy of feeling love in life, and as such, I will be the only one whom I seek love from, as no other can give me love in life. They can only permit me to allow myself to love myself; it has always been me who holds the power over the love I feel in life. So it is now my responsibility to make sure that I feel loved in life for self by self, and I will no longer outsource my need for love to another in life.

Through consciously choosing to give yourself love without the need for conditions to be met, you are sending a powerful signal to your unconscious mind. That I am allowed to feel love within myself unconditionally all of the time, without the need to become worthy of being allowed to feel love. I am always worth feeling love within myself at all times, which will create the unconscious meaning that love is a nonnegotiable aspect of my identity of self a part of who I am, not what I do.

This builds a new set of unconscious foundational beliefs that my love, worth, value and happiness are a part of who I am and not a condition to be met. Which will create a positive feedback loop within your emotional states, identity of self and experience of life that all I seek within life exists within me right now. Your unconscious mind now receives a clear signal that I have determined I am allowed and worthy to feel love within myself for myself at all times.

This starts the process of reconditioning your foundational understanding of what love means and what love is within your experience of life. This becomes the new experience of your self-identity, a person who loves themselves unconditionally as they are, without the need to prove themselves worthy of feeling the love they seek in life.

How To Use Advanced Synaptic Pathway Development To Create Unconditional Unconscious Love For Self…

Through the use of subconscious synaptic pathway development practices, you are able to remove negative unconscious narratives and create new, stronger positive narratives to reshape your unconscious identity of self. This process is a manual practice of overriding negative narratives, beliefs and thought patterns, consciously reconditioning with new thought patterns to replace them.

Through the use of Psychology Kinesiology, you can gain access to your subconscious mind through the positioning of your body to activate simultaneously your conscious and unconscious mind. Giving you the ability to consciously restructure your unconscious beliefs, narratives and thought patterns. Focusing on breaking negative associational synaptic pathways and consciously reforging new positive synaptic pathways.

This allows you to reshape your thought process consciously and unconsciously to reinforce positive beliefs on unconditional love and remove any beliefs around conditions you have created for your self-love. Through this process, you are physically strengthening your chosen beliefs around love and self-love to become stronger than any negative beliefs. Your mind will naturally seek to use the strongest synaptic pathways over weaker options. But also within the practice, you will be redefining the unconscious meanings associated with your conscious beliefs.

This means that you are redefining what conditional love means and creating new, clear definitions for it and why it is not a part of who you are. For example, “I love myself unconditionally because I am inherently worthy of my love, because I love myself unconditionally, as conditions in love are not a healthy way to develop or show myself how much I love myself”. This would be a redefined way of understanding how and why unconditionally loving yourself is important, and the more you repetitively condition this narrative or belief within your unconscious mind, the stronger this new belief will become.

The stronger the new belief is through conditioning practices and repetition, the more certainty my unconscious mind has when repeating this new belief to myself. So the more I tell myself I love myself, the more I show myself how much I love myself, the more love I feel from myself when I think of myself. This is the power of using advanced synaptic pathway development practices to recreate my internal identity of self.

The Choice To Love Yourself Unconditionally…

The challenge to developing unconditional love within yourself is the choice to unconditionally accept who you are as being intrinsically worthy of feeling the love you seek in life and accepting the responsibility you hold to show yourself love every moment of your life. A choice to remove all conditions from your internal belief structure around self-love and self-worth within life, realising that in the moment of desiring love in life, it is your responsibility to give yourself the love you seek.

Knowing that the love you seek in life can only ever be fulfilled by yourself, if you want to develop healthy love within yourself and your unconscious mind. You have to become the source of all you seek within life, never looking externally for what is intrinsically within you. By choosing to become your source of love in life, you begin to train your conscious and unconscious minds to release the power within to fulfil all your needs and desires within life.

Throughout this process, you will empower and teach yourself that you are the only one who is creating the negative emotions or lack of positive emotions you experience in life. Allowing you now to serve yourself through the fulfilment of all of your wishes and desires within life, unlocking your greatest power. The realisation that you are the sole source of reaching your wildest dreams in life, and the love you feel from others in life, is a mirror reflection of the love you feel within yourself.

So the more love you allow yourself to feel in each moment, will amplify the love you can give and receive from others through the shared creation of love within your relationships. Through this choice to unconditionally love yourself, you will find true, healthy relationships with others that are independent relationships bound in shared unconditional love for each other, over codependency relationships based on the filling of voids and needs.

Why Developing Unconditional Love For Self Is Essential To Becoming Whole Within Yourself…

Unconditional love for self is the foundational realisation that you are the source of the love you seek within life, and allows you to create your identity of self based on unconditional worthiness. Through radical acceptance of who you are right now as being worthy of love, respect and all you have ever dreamed of in life.

You are allowing yourself to move from a conditional fear-based mindset into your highest potential, and when this love is intrinsically based within your identity of self. Who you see yourself as in life ceases to be a broken person seeking to find what they are missing in life, to a whole person creating the life they have always dreamed of.

This is the foundation of creating the life and version of yourself you dream of in this life, one who believes inherently in your worthiness, value and unconditional love for self. This, in turn, radically alters your perception of self, creating new possibilities for your future expansion and growth within yourself.

Allowing you to follow your dreams in life confidently, courageously and bravely facing and overcoming all negative identities of self, finally reaching the highest potential you can in life. This is why unconditional love is essential to becoming whole within yourself, as it allows you the possibility to become more than you can ever imagine in life.

The Alpha Wolf Path To Creating Unconditional Unconscious Self-Love…

Should you seek to create an unconditional mindset of unconscious worth within self and love for self, I created my 30-day blueprint to give this to you. With advanced synaptic pathway development practices designed to reprogram your unconscious mind to love who you are as you are.

For you are worthy and valuable as you are right now, who you are is a celebration of the love that exists within you. Even if you may fall short of embodying your highest self, one of radical unconditional love and acceptance for self. It is ok to have emotional pain and negative past deeds against yourself to repent for.

The best part of learning how to love yourself unconditionally is the grace it demands you give yourself. As we may not be perfect within ourselves, we are perfectly ourselves and when we learn to love who we are and not who we expect ourselves to be. We give ourselves the grace and permission to become who we have always dreamed of in this life.

Overcoming our conditional mindsets is the first step on the journey to learning to unconditionally unconsciously love ourselves without the need to prove ourselves as we are worthy as we are and who we are.

So always remember you are the source of love you seek in life, and finding the love within you is the first time you truly fall in love in life. You fall in love first with yourself before you learn how to truly love another healthily in life.

So realise, while it may be a big first step to love yourself unconditionally as you are right now, you are going to spend the rest of your life with yourself, so you are 100% worth the leap of faith it requires to love yourself unconditionally.

Challenge yourself, my 30-Day Blueprint To Reforging Your Alpha Wolf Mindset, to learn how to fall in love with yourself as you are and to become the person you have always dreamed of in this life.

https://www.alphawolfconsulting.com.au/30-day-blueprint-for-forging-your-alpha-wolf-mindset-